


Add A Little Sugar (To Sweeten Up Your Bitter Personality)

by LightningInABottle



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Banter, Coffee, Cute Assholes, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, James Madison and John Laurens Bond, M/M, Office Pranks, Over Having Friends Like Alex and Thomas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 19:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13747827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightningInABottle/pseuds/LightningInABottle
Summary: Dragged to work at an ungodly hour by their respective best friends, James Madison and John Laurens bear witness to an office prank gone wrong............and something else after that.





	Add A Little Sugar (To Sweeten Up Your Bitter Personality)

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative Title: Alex and Thomas are not as sneaky as they think they are.
> 
> Also: Hamildick

        It was too early for this, James Madison thought, burying his head in his hands. At 5:45, only the toughest of workaholics, and their respective best friends, were in the office lounge. Some strewn over couches, some sitting on countertops, and others typing at what must have been a thousand words per minute, even though the report itself was due in a week. Out of John Laurens, James Madison, Thomas Jefferson, and Alexander Hamilton, it was pretty obvious who was where. 

   "Hamilton, when you show up to work, try to look like you haven't been run over by a herd of overweight hippos." Thomas, apparently fed up with proofreading papers, had walked by Hamiltons perch on the chair, and decided to start off the week with an argument. Hamilton, absorbed in his work, flipped Jefferson off with his right hand, continuing to type with his left.

"Funny, I was just about to say that to you, until I realized that's how you normally dressed."

  To be honest, Hamilton did look a little worse for wear,  with crescent moons under his eyes and an obvious stain on his left shirtsleeve. James glanced at Jefferson, who was currently making a cup of dark roast coffee. 

"Oh please, at least I check my reflection before I head out. You're probably too short to look in the mirror, if you even leave the office at all." Jefferson grabbed the coffee, smugness radiating from his features as he dumped what must have been twenty packets of sugar into it, and started walking back. 

"I highly doubt you check the mirror either, considering that jacket is only fashionable to the colorblind," Hamilton scoffed, his hands flying wildly from key to key. He paused only to yawn, but before he could return to his work, Thomas set the cup of coffee on the other man's desk. Alexander glared suspiciously at Jefferson, leaning down to sniff the coffee. Thomas just shrugged innocently. 

"John! Record this! If I die because Jeffershit poisoned my coffee, I want him jailed." John dutifully pulled his phone out of his pocket as Thomas rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, Hamildick, I just don't want you to pass out before I kick your ass at the meeting." When it was confirmed that John was filming, Alexander gave the coffee one more scrutinizing look.

"Straight black, right?"

James Madison was pretty sure he heard Laurens whisper "Unlike you", and snickered. 

Hamilton took a comically large sip of his "straight black" coffee...... and promptly spat it all over Thomas Jefferson's jacket and white undershirt. Thomas screeched:

"You bastard!" While Hamilton, as Hamilton is prone to do, proceeded to rant about the dangers of large amounts of sugar in the workplace. 

"Ugh! This shit is disgustingly sweet; how much sugar did you put in this?! You do know that while sugar does cause the brain to produce dopamine, it subsequently leads to a crash in cognitive functions and-" Alexander's speech was interrupted by Thomas yelling.

"I'll show you a crash when I shove my foot up your ass for ruining my shirt!" Their voices got louder and louder, to the point where you could almost feel the furniture vibrating."

"Asshat."

"Jerk"

"Effing Virginian 'Democratic Republican'" Even though the political party didn't exist anymore, Hamilton had once called himself a Federalist, therefore causing Jefferson to self-identify as the opposite party. This, of course, led to more arguments, which led to more headaches. 

"Look, just because you don't care about your appearance doesn't mean I can't care about mine. Well, it's not like God gave you a lot to work with anyways.."

"Oh you did not just go there!" The duo exchanged an unreadable look.

"Try me, Hamilton. I just wanted to sweeten up your bitter personality, and you went and ruined my new shirt!" 

"I'll show you bitter" The man shouted: jumping up and grabbing on to Jefferson.

As Alexander hauled Thomas out the door and into the hallway by the collar, James Madison and John Laurens shared a signature look they developed when their individual best friends acted like emotionally stunted, profanity spewing, kindergarteners.

"Let's see if there's a body we have to hide," John stated, jumping off of the counter and making his way to the little window on the door. He peered through and gasped.

"Uhh, James? You might want to see this." Madison walked to the door, looked through the glass, and saw......wait.......that can't be right.

Alexander Hamilton was  pressing Thomas Jefferson to the wall, their mouths pushing against each other's in a silent war, each one fighting for power in a way that somehow mimicked their rivalry. Alexander's hands were fisted in the shirt that that he ruined, whereas Thomas's fingers laced through Hamilton's hair, and trailed down the back of his neck. The duo's legs tangled together. John and James were too shocked to do anything but gasp and stare as the two men continued making out. John wolf whistled,

"If only they could solve all of their disagreements this way, definitely much quieter."

Right after the words left his mouth, an obnoxiously loud man an echoed through the building,causing them to burst out in an uproarious fit of laughter. 

"Should we...." Madison gasped for breath "....tell them what we saw?" 

"Nah," John said, retreating to his seat, "Its not everyday you see to mortal enemies shoving their tongues down each other's throats." After a few moments, Thomas and Alexander walked in, speaking before the door even shut. 

"We-ah" Jefferson said.

"-Resolved our argument" Hamilton finished, flushing bright red.

The pair looked audibly confused as John Laurens and James Madison threw their heads back in obnoxious, and rather hysterical, laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> Funny story: I wrote this in the middle of the night, accidentally deleted it, and then retyped it from memory.  
> So here, have a 4:00 AM funny one-shot.
> 
> Again, comments are appreciated!


End file.
